Love is in a global despair, in this century of crises and revolts. Marriage, which is the legalization of love and relationships, is in a greater despair. All around the social media and on the streets, both married and single men are openly hailing Hakimi.
Mubo simply asked me after dinner; who is even “Hakimi?” Smiling but very careful not to betray a loud laughter, I explained the trajectory of the handsome Moroccan footballer who is being famed to escape losing his properties through divorce…
I halted at such half explanations, afraid of what questions she would ask again. “So he kept his money with his mother…” Sighing to answer the rest, I quickly added that the story is not a big deal to me as one is not kuku propertied afterall.
Unbothered, my babe just kept on prodding her phone, and reconciling her dailies. While she doesn’t mind, the Hakimi story is in the tongue of guys, many of whom does not even have wealth to share with any lover, neither do they even have legal affairs that would prompt famed divorces. The sociology of family today shows that the place of love is massively riddled with business, while the solidarity of marriage has been replaced with benefits.
Meanwhile, the crux of the Hakimi’s story is in “too much partying” which caused the wife to filing for divorce a year ago, and a fresh allegation of rape by “an admirer” just a month ago which triggers trial of the footballer as well as the popularizing of his divorce. But with the story that the court could not share Hakimi’s wealth with Hiba, the beautiful yet older wife who filed for divorce; the thread of the story has been tailored towards the smartness of an African footballer in Europe on one side, and the yet again mother versus wife debacle.
While Mubo is unfazed, reports from my neighbours show that men are already hitting their chests and assuring; “Emi Hakimi!” telling their spouses how proud they are of the young footballer and that they too love to be as smart as the 24 year-old PSG defender. Mukaila, my guy who has been so gentle at home since Madam asked for an improved “pocket money” and other heavier duties of kids’ school fees and upkeeps, was busy hailing Hakimi as we watched Serie A ballers do their thing yesternight.
“Guy, Hakimi no be Lazio player na!” I had to shout as Mukaila keep shouting “Hakimi too sabi score” even when it’s Immobile who was hitting the back of the net for Lazio. To many guys, Hakimi is the man they want to be.
There are reminders of the ugly cases of footballers who has lost fortunes to divorce in Europe like Eboue, the former Arsenal Right Back, and Godwin Okpara of Nigeria who lost everything to a Nigerian wife in France after divorce amidst messy scenarios. But the main thrust of why many a men are so hilarious about the Hakimi’s story is the fact that there has been widening distrusts in loves and marriages globally. The rate of men who gets rich has drastically reduced, just as women. So, marriage has been turned to a meal ticket for majority instead of such haven where both lovers are each other’s “helpers.” While Western laws are strict on protecting the women in marriage, the third world too is not at the back seat. African countries, especially Nigeria, is now quite protective of the woman and more emphatic about the responsibility of men. These are positive developments, but the society has failed to be responsible, so a good number of men are having deep necks surmounting family challenges.
In a time of neo-liberalism, subsidies on education, housing, electricity, oil, and others are being removed. IMF and World Bank are busy implementing the fraudulent cliche of “government has no business in business” while mass unemployment is ravaging the streets. It is unexpected that men gets depressed and in despair over the heavy duties of taking care of family. This is why social welfare must be fought for and returned, instead of allowing big business to be getting trillions in loans from government as well as acquiring monopolies, while delusions are sold that government hands off it’s initial responsibilities of caring for the needs of it’s citizenry.
While one has to keep this piece shorter for the sake of Mukaila and Mubo to avoid further explanations by morning, the case of mothers versus wives is simply the case of men using women against women. The mother after suffering perceived oppressions and inequality from the father, is being mobilized to transfer same sexist attacks to the son’s wife. A case of transferred tragedy, really.
I wish Hakimi finds a way to pay Hiba off and the case is truly and fairly resolved. This is not just because of the fears of spousal revolts, but also to discourage a renewal of the cold wars between mothers and wives. Family issues are really not sundry as they adversely affect the output of every citizen in terms of contributions to societal growth and development. Reading the posts on social media tinting towards massive sexist jokes and anecdotes is also more worrisome than comic. As the world is in crises and revolts, we need a great number of women to rise for the total Liberation of all oppressed. This is why we all must not be Hakimi!